[link]
|
|--> i found this blog today and i thought my comment was needed:

i am in this place of mind right now so i know how you feel

it's comforting to know other people are going through this too
my love is in lock-up right now and i don't have the slightest idea of when he's getting out, and i was suppossed to be having our first child but the test came out negative, and he left before we could try again, so I'm left with nothing to remember him by, so much memories though..
reading this sort of brightened my day a bit, but as tears are falling from my cheeks as well.

i remember all the fun times we had together, even the awkward first date, the MOST AWKWARD day when my friend told him i liked him. that was a while back. i love him so much and my sergeant tells me not to get too attached to him. he says he's a good kid, but there are other fish in the sea, and he's worried about me, because he has anger problems and doesn't want to see me get hurt. He would never do that to me and if eh ever did, i would dump him on the spot. But Ilove him too much. "I still run, I still swing open the door, I still think you'll be there like before..."

..........I still think my Romeo will come to me in the midst of the night, throw rocks at my window, and we'll get married and spend the rest of life together.

I don't know what I fear more. Losing him mentally (break-up cuz he's sick of this waiting shit) or physically (his safe and well--being there).....

This has been a real eye-opener, a BLAST of realityyyy...........it's turned me back to religion alot more. it's made me question reality actually, and philosophy, and my health.

I hope he knows I'll stay faithful to him while he's gone, and when/if he ever gets back, I'll tell him in person (other than letters) wow much he means to me. "Faithfully I, trace your name while I sleep, it's the only true comfort I feel..."

God, please let Chris be all right. I love him more than anything, I'm sure you know that by now, after many nights of hysterical crying asking "Why not tonight?" Please let him come home soon. He's my baby-boy. He's the only boy for me.